Susan Jeffers is considered one of the best self-help authors in the world. In her book Feel The Fear And Do It Anyways, Susan tells us stories and examples of people she has helped along the way with tools such as Affirmations, Saying Yes to Your Universe, Positive Thinking, Taking Responsibility, No-Lose Decisions, Choosing Love and Trust, Learning to give and more!
Here are a few points that I have taken from the book to keep in mind for myself, however it is a great read and I highly recommend this book!
- Feeling afraid comes from not feeling good about yourself, says Susan . As with many of my previous blog posts you will see how much I praise the use of positive affirmations, and Susan suggests this too.
- She gives examples of surface fears and what they actually mean deep down, for example, the fear of aging- perhaps going back to school or taking on a course is what you need to do. Of the list she has in the book, one main fear of mine is accidents. This is a terrible fear that is always the first to spring into my anxious mind whenever anyone is late or I cannot get a hold of them. Susan says this is from not wanting to make mistakes. This is 100% true, as my obedient nature doesn’t allow for anything less than perfect in all aspects. This can be exhausting, not very fun and a big cause of my anxiety.
- When asked why we seem to have so little trust in ourselves, she suggests it could be blamed on our conditioning. “In all my life I have never heard a mother call out to her child as he or she goes off to school, ”Take a lot of risks today, darling.”. This “Be careful” carries with it a double message:”The world is really dangerous out there”…and…”you won’t be able to handle it.” What Mom is really saying , of course, is, “If something happens to you, I won’t be able to handle it.You see, she is only passing on her lack of trust in her ability to handle what comes her way.”
- So what is the first and most simple step- Trust in yourself that you can handle whatever comes your way. So what you make a mistake- it can be corrected. There is nothing to fear. Three simple words she always uses “I’LL HANDLE IT!”.
- How to make a no-loose decision-. I think we can all agree that making the wrong decision is a massive fear that stops us from moving in our lives. Susan gives a great drawing with demonstrations on how all you have to do is change your thoughts about making decisions.
- When faced with a decision the “chatterbox” in your mind as she calls it, is shouting “what if” and you are trying to predict the future, trying to control outside forces. You are wasting energy and making yourself miserable.
- “The knowledge that you can handle anything that comes your way is the key to allowing yourself to take healthy, life affirming risks.
- You need to understand that both paths when making a decision are “no-lose” paths. Both have opportunities to experience life in a new way, to learn and grow. An opportunity to find out who you are and who you would really like to be and what you would like to do in this life. Each path is strewn with opportunities- despite the outcome.”
- “Pushing though fear is less frightening than living with the underlying fear that comes from a feeling of helplessness.”, ” The more helpless we feel , the more severe is the undercurrent of dread that comes with the knowing there are situations in life over which we have no control-such as the death of a spouse or the loss of a job. We all find ourselves becoming obsessive about possible catastrophes.”What if…? ” Fear permeates our lives”
- Susan explains how to handle fear by moving from a position of pain to a position of power.
- “It is amazingly empowering to have the support of a strong, motivated and inspirational group of people. You need friends who will encourage you, not judge you. You need support , and the confidence to know that whatever choices and decisions you make, your friends will stick by your side. “A good place to find such people is at self improvement classes, workshops or seminars. There you will meet people already on the path of personal growth.”
- SAY YES TO YOUR UNIVERSE-Try not to resist change, you may miss valuable opportunities for new and exciting experiences opening up. “ Saying yes means getting up and acting on your belief that you can create meaning and purpose in whatever life hands you.”
- Give, Give, Give! “When we give from a place of love rather than from a place of expectation more usually comes back to us that we could ever have imagined”. Start by giving thanks to everyone in your life for all that they do , no matter how small. Give away information, give away praise, give away time, give away money and give away love.”
- She ends the book beautifully with saying the path to the higher self ,”..is much like the experience of climbing a mountain. The climb is tough. But each time you stop to look around, the view becomes more spectacular. You see a greater expanse, and the “flaws” of the world below disappear as you see more and more of the whole. As you climb higher, you are detached from the heaviness below. You feel lighter. You feel freer. And you are propelled higher by the increasing beauty you see.”
Have a great day!