After recently learning about “The Work” by Byron Katie, I was amazed to see how a work sheet can help you to change your thinking, deal with situations better and help you to embrace reality.
“I discovered that when I believed my thoughts, I suffered, but that when I didn’t believe them, I didn’t suffer, and that this is true for every human being. Freedom is as simple as that. I found that suffering is optional. I found a joy within me that has never disappeared, not for a single moment. That joy is in everyone, always.”—Byron Katie
People who have done “The Work” as an ongoing process have reported the following:
- Alleviation of depression
- Decreased stress
- Live with less anxiety or fear.
- Improved relationships
- Reduced anger: Understand what makes you angry and resentful and become reactive less often, with less intensity.
- Increased mental clarity: Live and work more intelligently and effectively, with integrity.
First, you need to complete the Judge Your Neighbour Worksheet which consists of 6 questions about an unpleasant situation in which someone made you feel angry, confused, sad, or disappointed. For example a partner who eats unhealthily but does not listen to you when you to tell him to change his diet.
After completing the work sheet you Ask The Four Questions :
- Is it true? – For example: Your partner doesn’t listen to you
- Can you absolutely know that it’s true? (Yes or no.)
- How do you react, what happens, when you believe that thought? I get angry, hurt and frustrated. We argue and it ruins my day.
- Who would you be without the thought? More relaxed, less stressed.
The next step is to Turn the thought around :
- a) to the self. ( I don’t listen to myself.)
- b) to the other. ( I don’t listen to my partner.)
- c) to the opposite. (My partner does listen to me.)
In the final step you “Embrace the reality” by saying that you would be willing to go through this situation again, now with a different perspective, maybe able to handle the situation better and to understand how to not let a thought control you. Byron Katie says” Until you can look forward to all aspects of life without fear, your Work is not done.”